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July 4, 2012
221 KB
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:iconautumn-sacura:
Page #12. I apologize, because this page contains some swearings and vulgarity. Though some of them are hidden ^__^
Thanks to ~Zannid for beta-reading almost all of first chapter. But if you'll find any grammatic mistakes anyway, say me. I'll fix them immediately.
Don't forget about hidden content.

How to read this story: [link]
First page: [link]
Previous page: [link]
Next page: [link]
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:iconemh5567:
Mood: Amazed ~Emh5567 Jul 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
In Quint's thought-bubble in the third panel, it says, "You'll regret that words, b****" and it should be "those" instead of "that". And I'm starting to think that Quint and Ivshina might have a cruuuuush on one another? Great page, with a few new characters too!
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:iconautumn-sacura:
~Autumn-Sacura Jul 6, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Hehe, we'll see ^__^ Thank you for help with grammar! Fixed it.
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:iconhaldaraina:
~Haldaraina Jul 4, 2012
to what Onyana said instead 'what' or 'which' it should be 'that'
AWESOME everything though!! (animation, story and chapter)
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:iconhaldaraina:
~Haldaraina Jul 4, 2012
so Quints thought bubble should say regret 'those' words instead of 'that'
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:iconautumn-sacura:
~Autumn-Sacura Jul 6, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you! Fixed.
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:iconhaldaraina:
~Haldaraina Jul 6, 2012
...sorry for saying this, cuz the bubble is running out of space, but the bubble where Yulie say: "It is not my breast that small, but yours..." it should say : "It's(this will give you a bit more space to add) not my breast that -are- small, but your..."
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:iconautumn-sacura:
~Autumn-Sacura Jul 9, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks! Fixed.
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:icononyana:
Mood: Wow! ~Onyana Jul 4, 2012
Grammar error middle panel, far right when Yulie speaks. She says "it is not my breast what small" but she should say "It's not my breasts which are small but your...." Otherwise it's a great page!
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:iconautumn-sacura:
~Autumn-Sacura Jul 6, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
:love: Thank you for help! Fixed.
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:iconkaytori:
~Kaytori Jul 4, 2012
Man what a prick
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