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Submitted: June 27, 2012
Image Size: 375 KB
Resolution: 827×1169
Submitted with: Sta.sh

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Comments: 12
Favourites: 27 [who?]
Views: 1,482 (6 today)
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Murts Ch1 p9by ~Autumn-Sacura

Flash / Interactive

Page #9. There are too much panels, I hope you'll understand how to read it.
Thanks to ~Zannid for beta-reading almost all of first chapter. But if you'll find any grammatic mistakes anyway, say me. I'll fix them immediately.
Don't forget about hidden content.

How to read this story: [link]
First page: [link]
Previous page: [link]
Next page: [link]

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~kates07632 Jun 29, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

koshmars xD

~MaskofTwilight Jun 27, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Just some quick grammar mistakes I caught:

1: when you click on Marius' face, the guy should be saying "In Um, having a personality is a privilege or a crime." (forgot "is")

2: In the 7th panel, Marius should say "Stupid Koshmars. What should they do now that they can turn into saldi?" (forgot "they") Although I'm not sure if "should" is the right word there. If you're trying to have Marius wonder what the Koshmar's are going to do next, then should change "should" to "will."

Other tha that, everything's great. Loving the story so far