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Submitted on
June 27, 2012
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Page #9. There are too much panels, I hope you'll understand how to read it.
Thanks to ~Zannid for beta-reading almost all of first chapter. But if you'll find any grammatic mistakes anyway, say me. I'll fix them immediately.
Don't forget about hidden content.

How to read this story: [link]
First page: [link]
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:iconkates07632:
kates07632 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
koshmars xD
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:iconmaskoftwilight:
MaskofTwilight Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Just some quick grammar mistakes I caught:

1: when you click on Marius' face, the guy should be saying "In Um, having a personality is a privilege or a crime." (forgot "is")

2: In the 7th panel, Marius should say "Stupid Koshmars. What should they do now that they can turn into saldi?" (forgot "they") Although I'm not sure if "should" is the right word there. If you're trying to have Marius wonder what the Koshmar's are going to do next, then should change "should" to "will."


Other tha that, everything's great. Loving the story so far :)
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:iconautumn-sacura:
Autumn-Sacura Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for help! Fixed.
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:iconevelyn-stormcraft:
evelyn-stormcraft Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Having a lot of trouble with the first panel. I can only see the change for a fraction of a second.
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:iconautumn-sacura:
Autumn-Sacura Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
That was the point :D
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:iconevelyn-stormcraft:
evelyn-stormcraft Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
But then how are we supposed to read it?
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:iconautumn-sacura:
Autumn-Sacura Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Well... I wanted some things to be challenging... Maybe I overdid it >_<
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:iconkaytori:
Kaytori Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012
Whose this young lady? An old friend from back when he lived in the waking world? Can't wait for the next page
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:iconautumn-sacura:
Autumn-Sacura Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
It'll be explained in the next couple of pages ^__^
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:iconartificer-urza:
Artificer-Urza Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012
Is he talking to the blade? It has no eyes to look at him with.
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