Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×




Details

Submitted on
September 20, 2012
Image Size
363 KB
Resolution
827×1169
Submitted with
Sta.sh
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
1,292
Favourites
21 (who?)
Comments
19
Downloads
12
×
First page of the second chapter! Sorry for long hiatus, I had to take part-time job and had no time because of it... I'll try to update more often from now.

I have no beta-reader this time. so please, help me with grammar! There probably awfully lot of mistakes >_< If you find any, I'll try fix them immediately.

Don't forget about hidden content.

How to read this story: [link]
First page: [link]
Previous page: [link]
Next page: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrelwarcthemighty:
RelwarcTheMighty Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012
Hope Ulyana wakes up in her own body!
Does Felix really have no one else to turn to but someone who hates him? And I thought bullying girls was pathetic enough.
Oh, Pedot, so chivalrous trying to stand up for Vesta! Ha, ha, . . . God I hope he gets naked at some point . . .
Reply
:icontenko72:
tenko72 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012
I like the reflections on the glass.
Reply
:iconautumn-sacura:
Autumn-Sacura Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:icontenko72:
tenko72 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconbettypimm:
BettyPimm Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
great page! a word bubble in the third panel is facing the wrong way, though
Reply
:iconautumn-sacura:
Autumn-Sacura Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you ^__^ Fixed it!
Reply
:iconevelyn-stormcraft:
evelyn-stormcraft Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Panel 3: Nothing technically wrong with it, but a more common way of phrasing it would be: "To her you're like a member of the family." English is confusing like that. (And as others have said, Phedot's speech balloon needs to be fixed.)

Panel 6: "Should I send him away?" 'Sent' is past tense.

Panel 7: "after all the things that you and Quint did to us." I think "have done to us" might be more appropriate here; 'did' suggests the subject is entirely in the past, while 'have done' tells the reader that it's a current event with a history. (I would also recommend moving Vesta's thought balloon to the center of the panel, to show the thought comes after what she says...unless of course it's not meant to come after.)
_

Something I've been curious about: why is the real-world part of Murts set in Richmond? Is there a specific reason?
_

Finally, I wanted to share this with you: [link] . It's another Flash-based comic, and I thought you might like to study the techniques they used.
Reply
:iconautumn-sacura:
Autumn-Sacura Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for help ^__^ Those are very useful advices!
About Richmond... hehe, ok, I'll tell you! I wanted to make country where story take a place uncertain. And Richmond is a very common name. Several cities in the United States, Canada and Europe are called so.
Reply
:iconrosesablaze:
rosesablaze Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Are we allowed to ask for help with finding hidden content? I can't find anything in panel 3. :c
Reply
:iconraccoo:
Raccoo Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012
If you want to cheat on hidden content, if you left-click anywhere on the comic page, hitting tab multiple times will toggle through them. I do it that way to make sure I don't miss anything.
Reply
Add a Comment: